I leave for 3 weeks tomorrow..........have a good summer everyone

Lately ive been looking through old yearbooks and photos and i did a lot of thinking. so many things have brought back a lot of memories and i compare the past tothe present. Seeing how people changed over time. It makes me sad... Ive let go of alot of myself over the past year . Sometimes i get scared that I am loosing alot of my freinds, people that are special to me. The sad thing about this is that it goes unnoticed until later on, when its too late to do anything about it.. Now i dread the loneliness i feel.  I dont talk a lot anymore, i don't laugh either........ i miss that happiness, and it kills me that im unable to get it back. So I escape into my books and whatever it takes to forget, I try to keep so busy that I have no time to think or to feel, i push away the reality of being alone....I escape and  try to smile.
  Has anyone ever felt so lost? am i a good person? i try so hard and don't feel as if i get anywhere........ I miss you jordan....... "i love you so much". thanks kelli for everything..........and i look forward to seeing you Kayely.  

good song...................

"making love out of nothing at all" by Air Supply

I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where I find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
And I know just where I touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose

And I know the night is fading
And I know the time’s gonna fly
And I’m never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you
But I know I’ve got to give it a try

And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to pain
I know all the rules and then I know how to break’em
And then I always know the name of the game

But I don’t know how to leave you
And I’ll never let you fall
And I don’t know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all

Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all
Making love
Out of nothing at all

Everytime I see you, well the rays of the sun are all
Streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it’s lost
And it’s looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the deep of the night
And turn it to a beacon burning endlessly bright
I gotta follow it ‘cause everything I know
Well, it’s nothing ‘till I give it to you

I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
And I can make all the stadiums rock

I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
And I can make you every promise that’s ever been made
And I can make all your demons be gone

But I’m never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl ?
And I’m never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all

Making love
Out of nothing at all...

   hmmmm this weekend was fun, friday i helped my mom at this Spegetti Dinner thing to help raise money. some kind of fun raiser. then i went out to eat with Kelli antie Jody antie Verna Koa Dustin and my mom.   it ws fun.......... the best part was driving Ryens Car home by myslef. man he has a nice car, but his mom made me promise to never tell him or he would flip....hahaha.  Then saturday kelli my mom and dad and i went down town.......Actually i drove the 3 of them down town , so now i know how to get there and all this stuff oh man i can't wait till i can drive cause then kelli and i can go down there whenever......but anyways we ate dinner at the Cheesecake factory and then shopped.  but alright i need to go to church now so i will leave you with this one good song by Sense Feild,

Save Yourself


turn out the light
just say goodnight, to yourself
may I remind you
when you find you, you're all alone is when you've got to be strong
cause that's when they call you, in the night
he's got your picture in his mind
he's got your number on a paper at his disposal anytime

is it really true
could you save yourself for someone who,could love you for you
so many times we just give it away, to someone who
someone who you

met in bar
the back of a car
and for a moment you felt important but not in your heart
my self esteem, it's been low, go ahead and count it's been lower than low
i know the feeling of it stealing life out from under me

i want to learn, how you save yourself for someone who, could love you for you
so many times we just give it away to someone who, couldn't even remember your name
could you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you, and loves me for me
give it away to someone who someone who will cherish your name

cause I want to learn, can you save yourself for
loves you for you, and
loves me for me
give it away to someone who, someone who, someone who will
cherish your name
cherish your name

im sorry.........for alot of things

i danced with Tyisha during math class,

i ate mac and cheese with hot dogs and ketchup, the best meal ever

i played with a yo yo, something i havn'tdone in about 10 years

 baby sat and made money.........

watched the Prince and Me..........a great movie

sang in the shower

 and finally went to bed.................

hahahah life is crazy